Sunday, November 15, 2009

Paramour: Alysia E & Ashley G (A Hell of a Halloween)

So for Halloween I decided to go as Adam (as in Adam and Eve)... I needed a costume that was sexy (guys don't have much to choose from, girls can make any costume sexy) and a little funny... Granted I didn't just tape a leaf to the tip of my dick... My sister Zoe made me the costume...

Zoe is big into cosplay, which is, if you're not nerdy enough to understand, basically making costumes of comic book characters or anime characters and going to conventions and what not dressed as them... so her costume making skills came in handy... Anyway... she came up with the idea of getting a sheer thong that was basically see through and sewing a green leaf made out of felt material (like on a pool table) and sewing it the the front... seemed more decent than my "tape a leaf to my dick idea." so after she made it, and I awkwardly "modeled" it for her to make some adjustments, including her telling me I needed to shave my pubes, I was ready to go...

The costume itself didn't hide much... the leaf covered up my business for the most part but you could easily see some extra business on the sides... but, like I said I needed something sexy... and.. for the record, I have a new respect for women who wear thongs, they are very uncomfortable... so good job ladies...

So I went to a party with Zoe and another one of my sisters Ariana, needless to say I was the center of attention...

Now, as I'm sure I mentioned at least a thousand times on the blog, it doesn't take much to get me hard... I'm like a 15 year old guy when it comes to my libido. With about 40-50 people at that party, mostly female, most in sexy costumes, it didn't take long for me to get a hard on.... When you're 9.5" erect, its difficult to hide a hard on in a pair of baggy jeans, so, in a skin tight, see-through thong with nothing but a small piece of green fabric in front of your package, its impossible...

My first instinct was go to the bathroom, jerk off and hope it goes down.... but since that seemed strange to do at someone else's house (not that it stopped me in the past) i went to plan B... Plan B was to think of baseball, dead kittens, the holocaust, any and all boner killing imagery I could think of...

But of course at the party when I thought of baseball, there was a girl in a sexy baseball players uniform, tight jersey and short skirt like all baseball players wear...

So I thought of dead kittens and two girls showed up at the party dressed as slutty kittens, much better than dead ones, and by "dressed as kittens" I of course mean whiskers drawn on their faces with a sharpie, a cat ear head band, and lingerie... Surprisingly for me, my first thought wasn't "I have to get some of those pussycats" but it was "How is that considered a kitten costume?" But the thought where I wanted to sleep with them wasn't far behind...

Then I thought of the Holocaust... luckily there was no one dressed as a Jew or any sexy Nazi girls... although, Sexy Nazi sounds like an edgy costume...

But, just like Hitler, innocent Jews dying wasn't enough to make my hard-on deflate... At that point, I went to plan C, which I nicknamed the patriot act because I just let my flag fly, and said fuck it... so I spent an hour or so walking around the party with a hard on and decided to change my costume from just "Adam" to "Horny Adam"...

The worst part wasn't even the fact that I had a very public erection, but the fact that I was in a thong and my dick was pushing the front of the thong out about 9 inches, it had some elasticity to it, sure, but that didn't stop the thin piece of fabric in the back from digging into my ass crack more than before... I swear that my ass crack has to be at least 2 inches deeper now... but that a story for another time...

Like I said my costume alone made my popular at the party, the hard-on inside and telling people I was going as "Horny Adam" didn't hurt matters either... Then i met one of my sisters friends, Alysia Edmonson, she was dressed as a sexy cave girl (luckily no arm pit hair or unibrow) she had on a blue tiger striped halter top thing, and a super short blue tiger striped skirt... Alysia I met once or twice before, she's a freshman in the college I'm at but we never really crossed paths, she's brunette, wears eyeliner (which I still think is sexy) average tight college girl body...The only times I've seen her she was cloaked in over-sized hoodies, so I had no idea she had such a sexy body...

We exchanged a bit of flirtacious banter, regaurding our costumes... She asked if I was looking for Eve, to which I replied "Ya know, after she almost made me choke to death on that damn apple, we've been seperated"

We chatted for a minute, the flirting grew, I noticed she was having a fruedian time with her plastic cave-girl club... I don't know if she was doing it on purpose, or if she was totally unaware, but she start stroking the plastic costume prop with her hand, which doesn't do anything for a hard-on but make it more eager...

After about a half hour of chatting, my sister Ariana says "Jesus Christ, why don't you two go upstairs into a spare room and fuck? Landon has a stiffy and you're jerking off your club" It sounded like a good idea... and after Alysia was done blushing we went up stairs... I more than willingly took the thong off... that alone was a better feeling than 100 orgasms, I almost needed a cigarette and a nap after taking it off...

Luckily she had a condom in her purse because I had no where to store one... for some reason while we were fucking doggy style I stopped and thought "Why would a cave girl have a purse?" Thats the problem with me and Halloween, I try to pick out flaws in costumes, even when I should pay attention to the cave girl I'm screwing... First time I ever said that...

We must've gone at it for a while because when we were done, after I came on someone's bed sheets, we got redressed (even though she kept most of her costume on the entire time) we went back down to the party and half the people were gone, Alysia looked at the wall clock, like a cave girl normally would, and said she had to go... she gave me her number, that I gave to my sister to put in her purse since I was sans pockets, and she left....

The remaining people at the party we either stoned or piss-drunk.... so I grabbed some vodka and tried to catch up... my smile must've been a mile long, not so much because I just got laid, but because my hard-on was gone, making my thong much more comfortable...

Since the vodka wasn't doing much I just watched some people... there was a couple, a girl dressed like Miss Muffet and her boyfriend dressed as a spider fighting, a couple of people coming down from the upstairs, I wasn't the only one to get laid, and then my sister Zoe dressed as some comic book character, Rogue from the X-men, getting insanely hammered, and being taken upstairs by a guy, some blood sucker, no really, some guy dressed up as a vampire... First my protective brotherly instincts kicked in.... but I figured I wouldn't look too intimidating to a vampire in nothing but a thong, and I guess Zoe and him were friends, so I figured that she just need some fun too...

The vodka was starting to work and I found myself dancing with a sexy clown... now, women can easily make most costumes look sexy, sexy nurse, sexy cave girl, and I still think sexty nazi would be rad... But I never thought of a sexy clown.... She, who I later found out was named Ashley, Ashley Green I think, still fuzzy on the last name, looked great... She had green hair, perfect clown make-up, red clown shoes, and a super-tight colorful one piece clown suit, it was more like a cat suit, just very colorful... and her cleavage was amazing.... I'm not much of a tit guy, boobs are nice, but not my favorite part of a female, but when the girl is petite and has a huge (natural) rack, my mind loses track of everything else... and even though I didn't check her clown-bra, I'd guess that her tits were an E or F cup.... huge fun bags (that term goes well with the clown theme right?)... Needless to say my thong became uncomfortable again...

We talked, or flirted with emphasis on our costumes, then she squirted me in the face with water from a flower that was on her chest, and I had to fight the urge to say "I have something that does that too..." She had a bag full of balloons and a pump and made me a balloon animal, well... balloon fruit, she attempted to make me an apple... which was kinda sweet considering my costume...

And at the risk of sounding like a complete dork, I'm gonna admit something that I never admited on my blog, I worked at a short-live PA town circus for like a week when I was like 15 or 16... I can make balloon animals, juggle decently, and ride a unicycle... I mention this because I was putting at least one of the skills to good use, I made a couple balloon animals... I apparently forgot how to make a giraffe cuz it turned out looking like a dick and scrotum, but it was a nice spirit lifter...

Anyway, me and the clown danced and made out on a couch... she was sitting on my lap, facing me and rubbing her crotch up and down on my dick... then I heard some yelling and figured that it was just a drunk chick getting rowdy... technically it was, because my sister Zoe stumbled down the stairs completely naked, yelling at the vampire guy she was gonna hook up with... apparently he went a little overboard with his costume, or was just a freak, because she tried to bite Zoe, actually bite her, not a gentile love-nibble, but wanted to draw blood... Ariana, came and got me and told me we had to go... I didn't want to leave my clown so I told her she should tag along, she did, and we did....

We were riding home, Zoe completely naked in the passenger seat, Ariana driving, and me making out with a clown in the back seat... Zoe and Ariana were both pissed, but me and my clown were doing just fine in the backseat (first time I said that too), Ashley finally took my dick out of my thong and was jerking me off by the time we got to the apartment... Zoe went to bed immediately, Ariana was gonna tell my mom that we were home but apparently my mom was having some halloween fun of her own in her bedroom...

Me and Ashley went to my room, which I share with Zoe and Ariana... I asked if Zoe would mind if me and ashley had sex, she wasn't in a good mood and, with her back to us she said she didn't care... thats all I needed, so I ended up getting some clown love... Me and Ashley fucked for about an hour, her wig started falling off halfway through and I was kinda disappointed, for some reason I actually thought she had green hair... go figure... we fell asleep after and in the morning I had so much clown paint on my bed, face, chest, and dick it looked like I was the one who went as a clown the night before

Ashley got a shower and left while I was trying to deal with my hangover (I'm a lightweight when it comes to drinking, I'm not gonna lie)... When Ashley came out of the shower I noticed that the vodka I had the night before worked better than I thought... Or maybe it was the fact that I didn't see her face behind her paint... not saying Ashley is ugly... just not what I pictured her looking like without face paint... She said she was 22 but looked older, who knows... I've woken up next to worse...

All in all it was a great halloween... took me an hour in the shower to get all the clown paint off me.... Zoe was pissed about that asshole she hooked up with at the party and we still didn't get her costume back, which she spent a lotta time on... and I made a promise to myself, my dick, and my ass crack to never wear a thong again...

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