Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Paramour: Julia Beardon

Oh man... heaven is gonna hold this against me...

I've always figured I'd be going to hell when I die... I'm not a terrible person, the only 2 sins I'm guilty of is Lust and Pride... but the instances of the lust one is a list a mile long... but I have a feeling that when Saint Peter (or whoever's job it is) looks through my "book of life" and sees this little tidbit. My chances are slim to none on getting in... Its not like I did anything illegal though... but Jesus wouldn't approve...

Here's the story... me and a friend of mine, Susan, have been having sex for the better part of the year (not non-stop, once every month or so, sometimes more)... She's older (42), know what she's doing, and can go for hours if need be... so she keeps me happy... she knows that I'm with a lotta girls, she doesn't care, as long as I don't catch herpes or something... but there is one girl that she might not be too happy about me sleeping with, her 18 year old daughter, Julia...

When me and Susan first got together and I'd be over at her house, Julia always seemed to have a bit of a crush on me, granted she was too young at the time... she had her 18th birthday a couple months ago.... Me and Susan had to sneak around behind Julia's back because she knew her daughter had a crush on me... so we did, and it was a lot of fun sneaking too...

Then came saturday....

Me and Susan made plans like a week before to meet at her house and spend most of saturday night, and some of sunday morning in bed... but when I got to her house on saturday, she wasn't there... Julia was.... She told me her mom is visiting a relative in the hospital a few towns away... That put a damper on my plans... so I thought...

I was about to turn and leave when Julia made me wait, we talked/flirted for a while, she admitted she thought I was hot, and that she had a crush on me for the past year... I let her know that I wasn't looking for a girlfriend... and then, as if the only brain that I had was in my now hard penis I said "But there's other things we can do..." I knew it was gonna get me in trouble as soon as I said it...

We started making out, and her tight little body had me hornier than hell... and as I found out later, she was a virgin at the time... after a night of amazing sex, i was left happy that Susan had to cancel at the last moment.

Now... here's a problem... Do I let Susan know about me and Julia or not?

Either way... I'm sure God shaking his head at me right now...

7 comments:

mrs. m said...

my opinion is don't tell mom.

and you're right, someone upstairs is definitely thinking that giving you testosterone was a bad idea. ;)

Landon said...

yeah... i probably shouldn't mention it... I'm just afraid that Julia's gonna end up having a lot of feelings for me... I don't need a stalker, that's for sure...

but yeah... God is probably like "I should've never given him a penis, shoulda made him a woman..." but then, if I was a woman I'd probably end up having a ton of kids, like my mom... did I just call my mom a whore?

lifechick said...

Please take this with the humor with which it's intended - you are *so* going to hell!

Since the die is cast, you might as well live it up in the rest of your time here on Earth. I'm sure there are other unsuspecting mother-daughter duos out there..

mrs. m said...

well, then may i please add stay away from virgins!

they can't help but have some sort of feelings for their first, or at least that was my experience even though he was a douchebag. he also had a little peen. :(

Landon said...

lifechick,
I don't even want to think about what Satan has planned for me when I get there... but I'm guessing he's not gonna be using a condom lol...

Mrs M,
I know, I knew it was a bad idea, but that part of my conscience doesn't work when I'm horny... Me and Julia hooked up a couple times since saturday, and she left 2 messages on my phone today already and its barely past 8 AM...

mrs. m said...

i had to come internet stalk in the interest of this story, recurring theme and all! btw, i also told my husband this story and he just shook his head, very funny stuff.

but, also, if it makes you feel better i had two men calling my phone at 8:45 this morning. i used to fuck one and he's trying to jump back on the wagon, the second is a potential who is trying to finally get on the wagon. i feel your pain. truly, but i'm still going to heaven.

Landon said...

mrs. m,
yeah... hooking up with her once was a mistake, twice, probably not a good idea either... but, for a (former) virgin she's great in bed...

and I can't blame the first guy for wanting to get back with ya... thats not the kinda wagon you wanna get off of lol