Saturday, August 9, 2008

Landon's Penis Paradox

A guys' penis is his best friend and worst enemy all rolled into one fleshy package. It seems like I'm locked into Duality between me and my penis. I am rather large (9.5 inches), but not the largest out there. With my big penis there is a large list of pros and cons. Having a big dick isn't always as great as people may think, sometimes I do wish I had an average sized dick. So as part one of Landon's Penis Paradox, I'll list the good, the bad, and the ugly (my penis is pretty, in case you were wondering lol) about the trials and tribulations of large penis ownership and all that comes with it.

Pro: Curiosity
All women have heard "bigger is better." Whether it's talking to their friends or something on TV they've heard it plenty of times. It depends on the girl (and sometimes the guy) whether or not bigger actually is better or not. But when women hear it all the time they get curious. I can't count the number of times my female friends ask if its true. I of course tell them it depends on a lot of factors. But they are still curious. If a girl sees a giant dick, they wonder what it'll be like. I've gotten laid many, many times thanks to a female's curiosity. I've taken it easy on them too, so those women who want to know if bigger really is better, have found out from me, that it is, sorry smaller guys.

Con: Self-Absorbedness
A lot of people think that guys with big dicks are self-absorbed or have egos big enough to plug up the hole in the ozone. Thats true to a point. I'm sure that I'm more confident that the majority of men, and sometimes my ego does get the better of me, but I don't walk around with a shirt that says "I'm better than you cuz I have a big cock" although that would be a great t-shirt idea... anyway... I don't go to parties or bars or whatever and expect to have sex with the first girl I see. I know it requires a lot more work than that. I also found out that self-deprecating humor works a lot better than bragging. And yes, I do brag about my endowment sometimes, which does turn a lotta girls off, but, like everyone, I'm not perfect. I am working on that aspect of my personality, trying to lower the ego, but at the same time keep the self-confidence, and like always there is a thin line between the two. I'd Say I'm tight-roping on that line and there's a strong wind blowing towards the cocky (no pun intended) side.

Pro: Flaccid Size
From what I'm told from female friends is that women really like looking at flaccid penises. Not as much as men like looking at tits, but still a lot. I know three girls who have been more interested in my flaccid penis than the erect version. A lot of women say that a man standing naked with a flaccid penis is sexier than a man standing naked with a hard on. They like the look of it, they like to play with it and watch/feel it get hard. This situation is great for us larger men. Smaller flaccid penises aren't as sexy to women, but it all comes down to how big you are hard, no woman is gonna want to have sex with a floppy wang no matter how big it is.

Con: Semen
Another one of my physical aspects is the amount of cum I release during orgasm. Its a lot. If I've had sex a lot that week, or that day, it'll be less since it needs time to replenish, but most of the time its way too much. If you've ever seen a Peter North cum shot, think of that, plus 20%. Thats usually the amount that comes out. There are times where I felt dehydrated after I came, no kidding. The problem with that is, if you ask any guy what they'd most like to do with their sperm at the end of a session they'll say facial or cumming in a girl's mouth. The amount I cum can easily turn a girl off, hence the problem when I try to get them to let me cum on their face or in their mouth, which I find wildly sexy.

Pro: Bulge
All women, whether they admit it or not, are crotch watchers. Some do it often, some very rarely. The more skilled and experienced crotch watchers can glance at a guy's bulge, or lack thereof, for a split second and accurately judge how big their dick is and usually come within a 1/2 inch of the actual size (my mom is one of those experienced crotch watchers, weird). I have a very nice bulge, and I have caught many women taking a look. I can't be angry, after all, I've been caught looking at cleavage. But, I don't dress in bulge-highlighting jeans for it to not be noticed, just like (most) women don't dress in cleavage & breast enhancing tops and bras for them not to be noticed. The best thing about it, is when a woman notices a nice bulge, the thoughts that guys want them to think start running through their head. Advantage: me.

Con: Condoms
Condoms are expensive. Or at least can be if you go through 5-10 of them per week like me.Even more expensive are the extra large condoms. I have a big penis, so obviously I'm gonna use it as much as I can. The problem is that it puts a serious, serious dent in my paycheck every week. But then, I'm sure a child or STD vaccine would also put a serious dent in someone's wallet.

Pro & Con: The Verbal Response
When a girl sees a giant dick in front of her there is one of three basic responses. The first is the con, the "There is no way you're putting that in me!" response. (Contrary to popular belief) The average penis length, erect, is 5 1/2 inches. Most women when talking about their past lovers, and men talking about themselves, round it up to 6 inches through embarassment or not being an expert on length estimates. The rule of thumb is give or take a half inch unless you actually get a ruler out and measure. The "There is no way you're putting that in me!" response is used by two types of women in my experiences, the ones who have been with larger guys and know that it hurts and the women who've never been with anyone over 5 inches and are relitively scared that the giant penis would rip them apart. When I get responses like this, I'm lucky to get a handjob out of the deal.

Then there's the "Isn't that about average?" response. That response comes from women who have never seen a penis before, have only seen larger ones, or only know pornstar penises.

FInally the "Oh my god, gimmie gimmie!" response. More common than the second response, but less common than the first. This response usually comes from the size queens or girls who know they're gonna have a good time.

I've gotten a rather even amount of both the first and third responses.

1 comment:

Polt said...

You could post a photo of it here, so we can leave you the "gimme gimme" comments too. :)