Thursday, September 25, 2008

Calling Landon: Bad Time For A Phone Call From Mom

Ever have someone call you while you're having sex? I do... Usually I don't answer... but when my mom calls I have to, she gets ticked when I don't answer... even if I'm having sex...

Recently I got a new cell phone, one of the features is you can record every phone call and add it as an mp3 file... so i decided to listen to it and type/post the transcript of the convo i had with my mom while having sex with my friend Shawna... when I learn how to upload mp3 files I'll add them for download too...

Anyway... this happened yesterday afternoon, it ended up being rather funny

Me (pausing for a second after accepting the call): Uhhh... hello?
Mom (cheerfully): Hey hun, how are you?
Me: Oh.... good... pretty good...
Mom: Hey, I got a favor to ask you...
Me: *silence*
Mom: Landon, you there?
Me: What?
Mom: You there?
Me: Yeah I'm... I'm here yeah...
Mom: You busy or something?
Me: What?
Mom: Are you busy?
Me: No... not really... what's up?
Mom: I have a favor to ask you...
Me: k...... (long silence on both ends as Shawna moaned a little bit)
Mom: Are..
Me (interupting): You there?
Mom: Yeah
Me: Whats the... uh... favor?
Mom: I left my purse at home in the...
Me: What?
Mom: My purse, I left it on the chair in the kitchen
Me (Totally not paying attention): ok
Mom: Can you bring that to work for me?
Me: Bring what?
Mom: My purse... aren't you listening?
Me: Yeah I'm listening... Where's the purse?
Mom: On the table... er.. the chair by the table... in the kitchen....
(At this point Shawna's getting tired of me being on the phone)
Shawna (slightly moaning): Hang the phone up
Me (To Shawna): I can't
Mom: Why not?
Me (to mom): No, i was talking to someone else
Mom: So can you bring me my purse...
Shawna (reaching for my phone, playfully): Gimmie!
Me (laughing): (to Shana) Stop, (To mom) Yeah,... no problem
Mom: OK great... On your way here can... (paused when shawna moans loudly) Is someone there with you?
Me: wha...
(Shawna grabs my phone away from me)
Me (laughing, barely audible, in the background ): Give me my phone back.... its my mom
Mom: Hello? Helllllooooo?
Me: (To shawna, in the background): seriously
Mom: Landon?
Shawna (to me, laughing, in the background): Seriously? its your mom?
Mom: Landon!
Me (To shawna, in the background): Yeah
Shawna (to me, laughing, in the background): You talk to your mom when you have sex?
Me (To shawna, in the background): Maybe
(I get the phone back)
Me: You still there?
Mom: Yeah, who's there with you?
Me: Shawna
Mom: The girl from a couple floors down?
Me: Yeah
Mom: When did you two start having sex?
Me: I dunno... 20 minutes ago...
Mom: No, I mean, when did you first start having sex with her?
Me: like a couple... hold on

(My dick came out at this point, had to take a second to put it back in.)
Me: A couple weeks ago... only 2 or three times
Mom: Hmm... weren't you going after her mom?
Me (laughing): Yeah... it didn't *moan* it wasn't gonna happen
Mom: Well, she's very christian, not surprising
Shawna (in background, loudly moaning, reaching orgasm): Mmmm, fuck!
Me: I.... I better get going...
Mom: Wait, don't forget to bring (pause during another one of Shawna's moans)... my purse... to work...
Me: ok...
Mom: And on your way.. (Shawna moans loudly, causeing my mom to pause again) On your way here get me a coffee from Jake's
(Jake's is a local coffee and tea shop, BTW)
Me: Ok... Coffee or tea?
Mom: Just a regular coffee... large
Me: What?
Mom: Large coffee
Me: Oh... ok
(Shawna starts having an orgasm)
Mom: Don't forget
Me (listening to and feeling Shawna's orgasm, but talking to mom): Ok... I will
Mom: No... don't forget!
Me: OK, purse and coffee... got it...
Mom: Thanks sweety... See ya later... say Hi to Shawna for me
Me: k...
Mom: Bye hun
Me: Later

I might start adding more phone calls and making this a series on my blog


M said...

Oh wow! That's fricking hilarious! I can't believe you carried on a conversation with your mom (and performed) all that time. That's talent I say.

....not that I've ever done anything like that ;)

Landon said...

lol... yeah... its a pretty good talent to have...

my mom's weird (in more than one way)... I could steal a car and not answer my phone when she calls and she would be more upset about me missing her call

She has a blogger blog too... I'll post a link to it sometime

I Smile 2 Much said...

Wow. I'm very impressed (and giggling, too, admittedly)

You're quite the multitasker now arent 'cha? ; )

Classic! Luv it!

Anonymous said...

This would def make for a good blog feature.

The Trailer Of Love

Holly Golightly said...

about twently minutes ago....lmfao that is hilarious!


Ms. Lily said...

okay, that was great. We have been interrupted by his mom, but things came to a halt until he hung up with her.
Made my day!