Saturday, November 28, 2009

10 Things I Was Thankful For This Thanksgiving

#10. I'm thankful for: Road trips.
Every year me and the family take a long trip to my mom's mom's house in Pennsylvania for Thanksgiving. My grandmother goes all out for thanksgiving and I could smell the food before we even left NY at an ungodly hour. We left at 4 am, the day before Thanksgiving... Since my mom has a fear of flying it was a long road trip.

#9. I'm thankful for: The family that went with us.
The whole clan didn't tag along. Anna and Michael, my oldest bro and sis had thanksgiving with their spouses families, and the twins, Donavan and Domenic spent thanksgiving at their dad's house. Since we all have different fathers (Except for Don & Dom of course) its hard for all of us to spend holidays together every time. But it was still a big family going. My mom, Cheryl, my sisters Zoe, Ariana, and McKenzie, and me. 4 females and me, in a van, for hours.

#8. I'm thankful for: My estrogen-immune masculinity.
OK, sure... no guy, no matter what he says is 100% immune to large masses of estrogen... But I made it through with my sanity.. Despite all the "Oh my god, Gramma's food is gonna make me so bloated," "My shoes are killing me, but they're so cute," and "Do these jeans make my ass look fat?" I made it through the trip with out any twitching in my eyes or thoughts of murdering any of my female siblings. That's a victory in itself.

#7. I'm thankful for: Vans with semi-private back seats.
#6. I'm thankful for: An understanding family.
I got the backseat to myself... McKenzie and mom were up front, Zoe and Ariana were in the second row and I had the last row of seats to stretch my legs out... The 4 girls were lots in their own conversations, which I didn't want to interrupt, so that left my mind free to wander. Which isn't a good thing. My thoughts went to my friend Lucia, and what we got into the day before. Needless to say, minutes later I was harder than William Shatner in a William Shatner museum. My hand started to rub my dick through my pants, but I stopped myself before I was caught. I still had my sweat pants on at the time since I never changed when I woke up. Kinda hard to hide an average hard-on in sweat pants, let alone one my size. But I tried to let it go and closed my eyes trying to get some sleep. a minute later I hear Ariana say "Jesus, Landon, when do you not have a boner?" Ariana was turned around in her seat making fun of me, I replied, in a sibling rivalry manner with "Just because your boyfriend can't get it up around you, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me." I got punched in the shoulder. My mom told us to knock it off in a weak, not-that-it-matters tone. Ariana and Zoe continued to make fun of my erection for about half an hour. Hitting me with zingers like "Are you trying to pitch a tent in your pants?" and "Can we stop and buy a flag, and hang it on Landon's dick to make it useful?" Eventually my mom got frustrated and said "Landon, why don't you just take care of it so your sisters will be quiet?" I was kinda taken aback by that comment, and my mom mentioned "I mean, we walk in on you jerking off or having sex like every week anyway, so what's it matter?" I declined, and several minutes later I figured, hey, that's not such a bad idea, so I took out my dick and started masturbating, shortly after I started Ariana turned around to make fun of me, but the joke was on her, seeing me jack off and all. She screamed and mom yelled back at me to at least cover up with a blanket. I got Zoe's blanket she brought and put it over myself and finished up. It awas rather awkward, but it would have been worse for me if I just let it go. Plus, it helped me get to sleep.

#5. I'm thankful for: The fact that me and my grandmother share the same sense of humor.
We arrived at my grandmother's house after a hellacious (and for me at one point orgasmic) car trip. Grandma greeted us each and then went right to judging my mom. One of the first questions she asked my mom was "Who are you fucking this week?" Its not secret, not even to my grandmother, that my mom "gets around." She explained her current boyfriend to grandmother, she replied something about my mom getting arrested because he is only 20, perfectly legal, but a large age gap. My mom had to remind her that 18 and up is legal in most states. After some more judgment from Grandma, we all got along again.

#4. I'm thankful for: Old friends...
#3. I'm thankful for: Hotel rooms.
Shortly after getting there, and not long after being judged by Grandma, my mom decided it'd be best to get a hotel room. I had other things on my mind. I've always kept in touch with friends from that area since we lived there a few years ago. I called up Kelly, a high school fuck buddy I haven't seen since 11th grade or so, and told her to meet me at the hotel. She did, and since most of my family went out shopping, except for Zoe, we decided to remember old times and see how we've changed. I've gotten bigger in some areas since high school, and so did she. Kelly gained a lot of weight, but who doesn't after high school? She was still as eager as ever. Zoe locked herself in the bathroom while me and Kelly made use of the hotel bed (Same bed I had to share with my youngest Sister, McKenzie. Luckily there was no random nighttime boners or awkward morning wood lol). Unfortunately we didn't finish before Zoe got out, but instead of being in the same room with me having sex, she went for a walk. Me and Kelly finished after about an hour and a half of reminding me why I spent all my time at her place during high school.

#2. I'm thankful for: Food, and lots of it...
Grandma make tons of food for Thanksgiving lunch (We have lunch instead of dinner for some reason). I ate 3 1/2 plates of turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, sweet potatoes, corn, peas, homemade rolls, cranberry sauce, and a slice of pumpkin pie to finish it off.

#1. I'm thankful for: Going home.
Thanks to the tryptophan, I slept most of the way home, no masturbation needed. I love visiting family and all, but love home even more.

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