10. Most Frustrating: How many times can one guy get walked in on
Sometimes, a guy just needs to jerk off... alone!
9. Best Porn Premise: Life imitating porn: Journey to the Center of Mrs. Worth
If you ask me, this is a moment every straight male should have in their lives.
8. Most Memorable: The Paramour Series
Lucia S - Margie R - Julia B
Some girls need some explanation, these do at least.
7. Best Use of Company Time: Bathroom break from Heaven
Normally bathroom breaks are saved for times at work where ya just want to get away, or actually have to go, this one was better.
6. Most Awkward Hard-On: An awkward day at the mall
Me, my sister, a hard-on, an idiot mall cop, and a stolen bottle of shampoo.
5. Best Explanation of a Penis: Landon's Penis Paradox
Part 1 - Part 2
What its like being me, at least the penis part of me.
4. Most Awkward Call: Calling Landon: Bad Time for a Phone Call
Ever get a call while having sex? Ever answer it? And was it from your mother? And did you talk to her for way to long? I did.
3. Best Meme: Wednesday Weirdness 51 - Story Time
Who doesn't love stories? Especially when they center around sex.
2. Most Tedious: Landon's Sex Calendar
January - February - March - April - May - June - July - August - September - October (Part 1)
My sex journal and me sticking to a new years resolution.
1. Most Embarrassing: Think Peter North on a Good Day
A lot of embarrassing situations contain sex, the most embarrassing contain sex, your partner's mother, and lots and lots of semen.
Showing posts with label Lay of the Land. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Lay of the Land. Show all posts
Monday, October 19, 2009
Monday, July 14, 2008
Landon's Lay of the Land
Listen... ok... not every word I type has to start with L's. I do like L's though.
Anyway, about me, my name's Landon, as you may have guessed. I have 3 brothers, and 4 sisters, try growing up like that in a not very big apartment.
I'm (going to be) a senior in college, one more year of near hard work and very hard partying left.
My main flaw in life, if you want to call it a flaw, is that I love women, too much. I know, what straight guy doesn't love women? You don't understand, I love women waaaaaayyyyyy too much. I'm either horny or infatuated all the time, even when I'm sleeping, I dream of women, at baseball games I think the pitcher probably has a hot wife or I'd pitch a couple balls at the girl in the third row, if ya know what I mean. At school I'm either hiding a hard on that one of the female professors gave me, or helplessly staring at one of the girls in the class.
I literally have a boner 80% of the time that I'm awake and probably a large chunk of the time I'm sleeping. The two worst parts about that is 1: I get hard-ons way too easily. Like if a hot 6 foot blond was next to me and she spit, my dick would be hard before her saliva hit the ground. And 2: They aren't easy to hide. I'm 9.5 inches, and about 7 inches in circumference. That's like stacking two regular sized soda cans, one on top of the other (although my dick's about an inch skinnier) and trying to hide that in a pair of loose-fitting, but not too loose-fitting, jeans. There's no good way to hide that. I actually damn near got arrested because a mall security guy thought I was smuggling something out. Awkward. But, more on that later.
Anyway, me and Team Double D (Donavan & Dominic, my brothers, they're twins) are in the same college starting this upcoming semester, between me and them, I dunno if any of the ladies at the college are gonna end up not getting hit on by one of us. If they turn me, a well endowed, pretty good looking guy, there's no way they'll be able to resist a pair of good looking twins.
Anyway, about me, my name's Landon, as you may have guessed. I have 3 brothers, and 4 sisters, try growing up like that in a not very big apartment.
I'm (going to be) a senior in college, one more year of near hard work and very hard partying left.
My main flaw in life, if you want to call it a flaw, is that I love women, too much. I know, what straight guy doesn't love women? You don't understand, I love women waaaaaayyyyyy too much. I'm either horny or infatuated all the time, even when I'm sleeping, I dream of women, at baseball games I think the pitcher probably has a hot wife or I'd pitch a couple balls at the girl in the third row, if ya know what I mean. At school I'm either hiding a hard on that one of the female professors gave me, or helplessly staring at one of the girls in the class.
I literally have a boner 80% of the time that I'm awake and probably a large chunk of the time I'm sleeping. The two worst parts about that is 1: I get hard-ons way too easily. Like if a hot 6 foot blond was next to me and she spit, my dick would be hard before her saliva hit the ground. And 2: They aren't easy to hide. I'm 9.5 inches, and about 7 inches in circumference. That's like stacking two regular sized soda cans, one on top of the other (although my dick's about an inch skinnier) and trying to hide that in a pair of loose-fitting, but not too loose-fitting, jeans. There's no good way to hide that. I actually damn near got arrested because a mall security guy thought I was smuggling something out. Awkward. But, more on that later.
Anyway, me and Team Double D (Donavan & Dominic, my brothers, they're twins) are in the same college starting this upcoming semester, between me and them, I dunno if any of the ladies at the college are gonna end up not getting hit on by one of us. If they turn me, a well endowed, pretty good looking guy, there's no way they'll be able to resist a pair of good looking twins.
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